Orange County Long Winded Low Down

P.P.P.S. {with an arrow from the bottom}

Actually you can just skip this whole post and know that I love warm weather.

But if you want to know...

This spring has been a good one.

Mostly because of the weather, it's been great. No - awesome.

But also because, for the first time in four years, we're not packing up and planning a move for school. ;)

Since it's almost been a year, I thought I would do a run down of loves and dislikes here.

Basically, what I thought I would love, I love.

What I thought I wouldn't love, I don't.

-And I have to laugh about moving. When we told people in Oregon we were moving to Orange County most of them would get big eyes and wonder why or say they were sorry. Now that we're here people kinda wonder if we are hippies when we say we moved from Oregon. I love both places for different reasons. Honestly, Oregon fit us better in ways. Maybe we are hippies. hmm... Have you ever noticed how 2% of the population gives a place its name?

Ok. Good things first.

The weather is perfect. I think Cody wore pants to school three times this year. I did miss curling up with hot chocolate and a blanket next to a fireplace, but not enough to want to leave, or actually be cold.

The beaches and millions of pools are awesome. The neighborhood is safe and beautiful. Schools are awesome. Incredibly politically conservative. Disneyland.

Lots of shopping. There is a ton to do and see.

Because my husband loves swimming so much, and so do the kids, we go swimming all the time.

And I have a confession.

I'm like a cat with water. Unless it's, ooooh, 100 degrees or warmer.

My family knows this and they're pretty patient with me. I even get in the pool with them. But not every time...we always go to the one with the hot tub for me:)

Ok, I'm not trying to complain, just explain.

I feel slightly claustrophobic.
Millions of people claustrophobic.

One night after a particularly heartfelt conversation with Ben in our room I heard my neighbor cough and it sounded like he was sitting next to us in our bed.

Sooo, our neighbors know us really really well.

Yards are really coveted here and that kind of makes me laugh and at the same time...it would be awesome to have a yard. with a garden! 

That didn't cost one million dollars.

But probably more.

Driving is nuts.

Let me preface this by mentioning that in Oregon drivers are not just conscientious, they almost are too nice. Maybe instead of waiting three seconds at a stop sign they would wait four, because we all share the road and it's our world and we want to save it. I'm pretty sure I became a better driver. 

My $250 ticket helped too, but that's for another day.

My first day driving here as I conscientiously slowed for a yellow light I watched six other lanes of traffic FLY by me at the speed of light.

By the time I waited the five minutes at the red light and watched hundreds of cars pile up behind me, I knew why.

Going from Pullman to Utah, the freeways always freaked me out. In Pullman I rarely ever drove over 25 miles per hour.

Now when I go to Utah the freeways almost look quaint.

I have to remind myself every time we spend money here that we're also helping pay rent, and that's why everything is twice as much.

Several people asked me when we first moved here if I was getting used to the faster pace of life here.

This question always confuses me.

What, exactly, is faster?

Are people working more? Harder? Better? More productive?

Am I missing out on something I should be doing?

Maybe it's because...

There are a lot of fun things to do here.

People are trying REALLY hard to look good.

So they are busier...trying to look good and have fun.

I don't know. Obviously not everyone is like that but Orange County stereotype is real.

You know, the housewives of Orange County and the OC. They aren't just acting. They exist.

Sometimes I feel like we're living in Pleasure Island from Pinnocchio, so at our last general conference I found this talk especially meaningful-

"Where Your Treasure Is."

"There is no end to what the world has to offer, so it is critical that we learn to recognize when we have enough. If we are not careful, we will begin to chase after the temporal more than the spiritual."  

So true! It's a good reminder to me as we are figuring out how to navigate our spending to remember what actually matters.

Now, if I could choose the perfect place to live it would be Oregofornia with all the good from Oregon with the weather from California. Of course it wouldn't exist because everyone would move there and you would get California, again.

But really, boiled down, we love it here.
That being said, I'm sure we could be happy anywhere; our little family is what makes it "home," and we feel blessed to have one.

Now that I rambled on and on about that I have more rambling and no pictures. We were naked most of the time anyway;)

For our anniversary we went to a spa!

Ben is always sore, so I thought this would help and be a fun, out-of-the-ordinary date.

That day, in a bit of a heat wave, it was 104 degrees outside. But that's not normal for these parts. More on that another day.

We got to the spa and got to go into the sauna.

That is exactly what I wanted...to walk into a room that is 120 degrees.

After the first minute I settled right in and decided that we need one of those if we ever move anywhere cold.

Next we hopped into robes and got a spearmint foot bath and green drink, followed by our massage.

I feel like I have temporarily borrowed the shoulders of a 90 year old, they are so sore and tight and inflexible. It's painful to do any sort of fast motion or lifting. Massages are painful, but I could actually move a little the next day, so it was good. 

P.S.

This long winded post is a result of my husband being out of town.

It actually feels like the good old days. The ones where my husband was working and I put the kids to bed and had a couple of hours to do whatever I wanted by myself. I am realizing that I love alone time. Doesn't every mom??

P.P.S.

Don't worry, still loving having my husband around!

Favorites Day 7 - Forced Finances

As college students, Ben and I had a budget that went something like this:

only buy what is necessary to survive.

I am eternally grateful that we learned, at the very beginning of our marriage, how to spend our money. Our forced situation was a blessing. Not saying we're perfect, cause we're NOT, but I just feel like it was a good way to learn. Obviously it started before that with our parents, but being married with all those responsibilities is different too.

Graduation brings a few extra liberties but there's always something.

Maybe, someday, we might want to own a house.

And there are those pesky students loans.

And this and that...college for kids, retirement. You know.

A couple of months ago I bought us a new set of sheets on sale at Target.

It was the best purchase I may have ever made. Our old sheets were stitched up in one place (at Ben's feet, he he) and you could pretty much see through them in a couple places even though they were red.

The new ones are so soft and...not falling apart! It's the little things.

I used to joke that once we graduated I would go on a crazy shopping spree and get a new wardrobe. haha. I knew things don't magically change after graduation. Still outdated, oh well:)

I think college was the perfect grounds for setting boundaries on spending. Everyone is poor!

And what's more, if someone had nice new stuff and was living the "high life," it was not even tempting because you knew they were in ca-razy debt to do it!!

It is amazing to me what you can live Without.

It's also amazing to me what others deem wants vs. needs.

"How much" need is very negotiable.

Well off people aren't necessarily people that make a ton of money.

They are people that know how to spend, or not spend, the money they have.

This month we are trying not to spend ANY money!

Obviously we have to pay rent and utilities.

And we have to eat.

But everything else is extra!

Actually, we never eat out, so eating won't be bad. I know - that puts us in a lame, boring category. I do like to eat out and I'm sure we will later on in life. It's definitely not a priority for us. Really, an added bonus is I probably don't make healthy choices when I eat out (the good ones are always unhealthy) and I can control how I cook.

We made a few big purchases a month or two ago so this will be a good thing.

It won't be perfect because we're traveling, but other than that - nada.

The inspiration came from 31 Days of Living Well and Spending Zero.

Soap Trick

A Tip

Buy a Bath and Body Works Foaming Soap.

Enjoy it.

 When it runs out fill with a few tablespoons of regular refill soap.

And fill the rest of the way with water.

A trick I learned from a smart friend at school.

If you have them, add some lemon essential oils, a natural disinfectant that smells great.

At this rate, your soap will never ever run out!

Tips to be Toasty

It's beginning to feel like spring. The sun is even out here these last couple days. It makes me so happy.

But...it's still cold, there's no denying it.

We love rice bags that we heat in the microwave.

I made the kids owls a while ago and Mackayla kind of brought them back into popularity at our house. She constantly begs for them "owl. owl."

I finally made her her own owl.

Whoo

They're in their new grandma Sylvia outfits. Thanks grandma.
My latest favorite warm drink is steamed milk. I have a really hard time drinking enough, ever, but especially in the winter because it makes me cold. Ridiculous excuse. fine. 

We bought some Torani syrups (hazelnut and caramel) for $6 and have had tons of steamed milks over the last couple months. It's cheaper than going and getting one at the local coffee shop and tastes exactly the same! 

Plus microwaving a cup of milk and adding a bit of flavor is pretty quick and easy.

I made croissants the other day. It's always been something I've bought but they're pricey.

I used less than half the butter in the recipe and they were soooo good and definitely more healthy.

More healthy, not a health food...I have a weakness for carbs.

Tread Lightly

Disclaimer: This is way too long and written in the most non-judgmental way possible for me. Everything we did that I write about was for OUR FAMILY, and only ours. Only some of my closest friends will know how hard this was to write. I didn't write this to justify our actions or defend our decisions. Maybe our experience will be enlightening for someone else taking the road less traveled.

The 2011 DVM graduating class at Washington State University was around 100 students.

That degree was not earned easily.

A handful of the graduates were married.

Four of the 100 had kids.

Those years are not for the faint of heart.

At graduation they had a huge screen showing picture slides of all the graduates
This is what we submitted to be shown at the ceremony, May 7, 2011 (our anniversary!)

I love that Ben considers us part of his graduation. He worked so hard and ultimately did the school work, but we worked together to accomplish that goal.

To think we could have done it without our kids would mean we would have missed out on some of the best memories of our entire lives.

I love these pics taken by my sister and her husband.

Ironically, I would do it all over again, and again and again, I loved it so. much.

Some of my best friends and memories were made struggling through the years of learning how to be a wife, mom, and student all at the same time.

During those years I learned a lot about life. This is one of the better lessons:

Ben and I scrimped and saved for three years prior to school. Ben sold his truck, his horse trailer and his horses. He worked summers during vet school and we took out some student loans. The price of education for a doctor of veterinary medicine is similar to that of lawyers, doctors and dental students, to put it in perspective.

During those four years of school we did not go out to eat (unless our parents treated us, we love you), we did not buy extra things, and our "budget" consisted of 'trying not to spend money' we didn't have to spend to survive.

These are the years I learned how to be a mom and how to be a homemaker, (that includes my attempts at cooking!). We had pondered and prayed endlessly about having kids when we did. We had talked about waiting until we were done with school. By the time I got pregnant I already knew Ben would be going to vet school. He was just finishing up his bachelor's degree. In fact, just a couple days after Cody was born Ben flew to Washington for his interview! Before I got pregnant I added the numbers over and over again in my head. How do moms not work when their husbands are in school?  Have you wondered that? But as we prayed and talked we decided we would take the plunge into the unknown, do our best, and trust it would all work out. I believe God answers prayers.

After I had my first baby, having done paralegal work, I got a job as a legal coder that I could do from home. I battled with a little bit of baby blues that seemed to extend to a bit of post partum (nothing incredibly serious, but still a bummer) and I was also 'blessed' to either not have a child who didn't need sleep, or I didn't have the capability to get him to sleep - day or night. I worked as a legal coder part time for several months and then just couldn't make it work and keep my sanity. After that, during vet school for extra income I also babysat, delivered medication, made beaded watches (broke even:)!), and a few other random things (chacha - ugh!). Mostly though, I was home with the kiddos.

Doing legal coding with my helper buddy

After the first year of living on savings we began taking out minimal students loans for some living expenses. Buying a sweater for $30 on loans feels wrong, but thinking about buying a sweater for $30 times 30 years of interest at 7% feels like a sin. It made self control a little easier. We took out barely enough to survive each semester and always paid tithing on any extra income we made. One time I bought a pair of nice running shoes with birthday money from my parents and it felt like a huge exorbitant purchase. It's the only time I remember buying something even remotely that expensive. Anything above ten dollars that wasn't simply to allow us to survive was carefully considered and discussed. I cannot count the number of times I would wonder how the numbers added up at the end of each semester and would conclude that I believe in paying tithing.

Also at the end of that year we had an opportunity that felt like an answer to our prayers. We were applying to manage several apartment complexes of campus housing. We knew the hiring manager and he told us we unofficially had the job, we just had to formally interview. This job would allow us to get through vet school. Because I had PREVIOUSLY decided that I was going to be home with my kids, this was the perfect job-it would allow me to do that.  I can't explain what happened at the meeting to decide our fate. It supposedly lasted a long time and was split 50/50 but they ended up giving the job to a different, and I'm sure, nice, couple. They barely could speak conversational english. It was not in the cards for us. It was humbling.

Working is a wonderful option. I admire the women who do. I babysat one mother's kids during her husband's first year of vet school. I know the hours involved with that dreaded first year (oh, and all the other years). I knew she rarely, IF EVER, saw her husband. But I don't know how it is to work at a job and raise my kids alone. Occasionally she would bring her new baby over wearing the same thing from the day before, after she had worked all night long. I would bathe that sweet baby maybe not fully realizing the sacrifice that must have been for their family. It kind of brings tears to my eyes thinking about how hard they were working for what they believed in. She is a GOOD MOM. I admire that family.

I have another friend who, after paying childcare, made $2 an hour. But she told me that at the end of the month they needed those $2 an hour paychecks to make ends meet. She is now the manager, but she never could have known that in the beginning. It was right for her family. She told me how judged she felt when people found that out, and that is sad to me. It is so easy to judge each other. But frankly,  we're all doing what's best for our own families.

I have another brilliant friend who is an attorney. Amidst other associates who might not choose to raise a family she chose to have a baby. She is finding balance between staying up all night and working to provide a living and pay off student loan debt while her husband finishes medical school. That takes courage and sacrifice too.

Ben, me and baby #3!

We did not get through vet school without other help. As we sacrificed and worked towards accomplishing that thing called self reliance, we found we needed some help just to get us through the toughest years. And while we put in the grit and hard work of fulfilling a dream, our parents gave us the extra push to get us through. I'm afraid there is not enough we could ever to do repay them. It seemed like someone was always sending a baby outfit or helping out with new car tires or coming to visit. When I toot my own horn about being frugal, I'm not acknowledging that moms would occasionally send generous care packages, that my mom would send a new shirt just because or that my mother in law surprised me by sending me my much loved sewing machine for my birthday. And much more. One dear friend used to send us gift certificates. I was so grateful that at graduation both of our parents were able to attend. It was a tribute to them and as much their accomplishment as ours.

Ben's overwhelmingly long hours in school completely ruled out the slightest possibility of him working during the school year, and the probability of me finding employment to justify paying for daycare and substantial enough to cover living expenses was minimal in this small college, land-island town, but as I mentioned earlier I had PREVIOUSLY decided not to work. Our family needed the stability of someone in the home when one of the parents couldn't be there, and that decision felt right for our family. Aren't we lucky that we don't have to judge each other? We can leave that to the judgments of God. Praying and doing what is best for YOUR FAMILY is always the right answer.

An unforeseen ending to (or prolonging of!) school led Ben to his internship (again, a great decision for our family). Even though internships barely pay enough for ONE PERSON to survive let alone five we never went without and always had some to spare. I believe in working hard and I. Believe. in paying tithing.

What a blessing we had to know that things would get better. I can't imagine living far below the poverty level without the hope of a better life. That sacrifice will always be worth the benefit. Even at our lowest point, we knew things would change.

I feel blessed to have a husband and family who support me in my decision to stay at home. I am grateful for a mother in law who raised her son 'at home' and a mother who raised me 'at home.' It is becoming a lost art that is not valued. I am not concerned with what the world values. I feel that for our family and our circumstances, staying at home for me is the best option and the one I humbly and gratefully choose. The numbers don't always add up, but the blessings do! I don't assume that every mom should stay home, every family is different. Everyone's circumstances are different. Am I admitting that I'm not smart enough to have a high paying career? I don't think so. Some moms can find a lucrative enough job to make it worth finding child care. Others choose not to. But there is not one right answer.
I DON'T think we should judge each other. Good people can choose different things.

Basically, I DO think living within our means is so vitally important. Even if sometimes that means having less. Sometimes having less is more. This is what really makes me happy:

The easiest thing to do is to support great causes, sign stirring petitions, endorse grand philosophies. The hardest thing to do - and it is getting harder all of the time - is to be a good husband, a good wife, a strong father, a strong mother, an honorable friend and neighbor.
~James Q. Wilson "The Moral Life"

This is a great article: What is truth?

Bread and Bethlehem

I have a friend who ground her own wheat to make her bread.

It was weird.

Then interesting.

Then intriguing. 

Then I wanted a wheat grinder.

I have been making my own bread for a couple years now. Not because I am that mom, but because I have an obsession with bread. I only like expensive store bought bread. This is easier on the wallet.

Wheat grinders are expensive though. I was thinking about it...and mentioned it to my mom while she was here. She has one that she will never use again. 

 She mailed it to me!!

Speaking of bread...

BETHLEHEM

Its Hebrew name, bet lehem, meant “house of bread,” a name that was of no particular significance until He was born who would be known as the Bread of Life.

-Bruce D. Porter

Babysitting sometimes should be documented. 

2 five year olds

2 three year olds

1 one year old

and 1 three month old.

 The older ones are easier, they just play together and make a mess!  The babies...are not easier.

T-Shirt to Skirt and other Creations

I admit, I get obsessed. And mostly obsessed with Repurposing, being a student with not just a small creative budget, but ZERO creative budget. Bless my family for letting me get it out of my system. Here are some of the latest creations. And, just for the fun of it, I will put how much each thing costs.

T-Shirt to Skirt

Cost: Unwanted t-shirts

Ben gave me a pile of 10 t-shirts to take to Goodwill and I couldn't do it because it looked like good usable material to me. Make fun of me, but I should have been born during the great depression. Luckily, I'm not a pack rat because Ben can't handle it. Anyway. I had a skirt from DownEast Outfitters, used as the inspiration:

And someday I will draw a little scaled pattern for the skirt because it is SO easy and fast to make. You need 2 or 3 (or however many colors you want) shirts. Cut them up, sew them together...voila.

Jewelry Frame HolderCost: $3.00

This wasn't my idea, it was for super Saturday and I love it! (You can use chicken wire, or this stuff from Ace that's for screen doors)

Crochet Doily Earrings

Cost: $1.25

Batman Capes

Cost: Not much, I got 15 yards of perfect black material for $2.50!

They're not quite done...but will be soon!

Sweater Bag

Cost: Free

I got this one from makeit-loveit.com. Use a too-short or unwanted sweater, cut it up, sew it together.

I also did a little kitchen reorganizing this week. I took a picture of one of my drawers just because I love before and after pictures. This is actually quite unimpressive, but I feel better and you get the idea.

And last but not Least:

Pumpkin Cookies

These are the EASIEST cookies in the world to make, and good...they're almost gone!

Ingredients

Spice Cake

Small can of pumpkin

chocolate chips.

Mix together and bake at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes.

Lovin Good Deals

"Repurpose" is one of my new favorite words. These shorts used to be jeans with a hole in the knee. I cut them off and sewed them up in 10 minutes. Voila! New shorts.
This week I went to Rite Aid and used a bunch of rebates and coupons to get 5 things free (some below):) ha ha. I'm lame and I know it, but it's oddly fun to me.

And last but not least, I scored a free watch at Chunky Bling. It was a tough call, but I chose "Breakfast at Tiffany's." Thanks anyone that voted for me!

Movie Mayhem and Other Adventures

Ben's 4th year is what it is, and if he does an internship next year it will just be WORSE. We have to go on living SO Adventure #1 of our year of abandonment (okay that's dramatic, but he's gone a lot) was swimming. Adventure #2 was going to the movies. Toy Story 3 in 3D! Cody wore his glasses the whole time and was riveted to the movie, if not a little scared a few times. Macey was a wild woman and watched all of 30 seconds. It didn't help that the glasses were huge and the picture was blurry. Oh and she's never watched a movie before. But we did it! It was good there were just 5 people in the theater. (For anyone interested we went to the movies for free using this promotion!)Last but not least, this summer I have heard "Let's go ride bikes" more times than I could ever count. This is how we spend a whole lotta time.

Sweet Deal

Anyone who knows me knows I like to get things at the best price I can find. So this made me happy and I thought I would share.

Goal: Diapers

Store: WalGreens - I had a 15% of coupon for everything I bought that day

1st Transaction: I bought some Dove Men Body Wash, which is really weird because Ben only uses bar soap...but it was worth it. I had the 15% off, plus a $1.50 coupon, plus WalGreeens has these things called register rewards (RR) and you got $6 RR for buying the Dove soap, which means they give you $6 to spend in the store. SO I essentially MADE $3 by buying the soap.

2nd Transaction: I had a $2 off coupon for diapers, the diapers were on sale, I got 15% off, plus I had $6 RR...Diapers: 49 CENTS (Adding in the soap, since I didn't need it, would really make the diapers $4, but that's still a great deal.) Plus $3 RR for the diapers.

I used a couple of other coupons and deals while I was there, but that one was the best. The girl that helped me was so cute, she kept saying I was learning to be a coupon lady. I think off brands are cheaper but they never have coupons.

I love a good deal and I hope I will still do it even when Ben finishes school! Maybe not with this much planning involved though...